


Emotions

by biblionerd07



Series: It's Different [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff, Fun times are had by all, M/M, Star-Spangled man, Steve and Bucky break a couch, Steve is embarrassed, Tony finds old newsreels of Captain America's USO tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 20:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1616489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biblionerd07/pseuds/biblionerd07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has a hard time deciphering his own emotions, let alone anyone else's.  But there's one person he's always been able to read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> This is my last piece for this series! Thank you to everyone who's been reading along. I'm still going to be writing Steve/Bucky, I'm sure, but probably stand-alones.

Bucky doesn’t always catch other people’s emotions. Seventy years of not being allowed any had taken a toll. He has a hard enough time sorting through his _own_ ; deciphering anyone else’s seems a herculean task. He has trouble figuring out when Tony is being sarcastic because it’s his sense of humor versus when he feels insecure about something. He has a hard time sensing Clint’s annoyance or Thor’s confusion or Pepper’s fear.

Agent Hill tells him he’s not really supposed to say anything to the press, because he can often come off as “overly callous.” (Steve says it’s blunt honesty and the world could do with more of it.) He has trouble making small talk with strangers on the subway. (Part of that is also the fact that he’s working overtime trying to keep it together because trains aren’t exactly a happy environment, not in his experience.) He’s just not good at these things. He half-remembers (and Steve insists) he used to be very empathetic.

“You pulled bullies off me!” Steve crows. “Because you cared how the little guy felt.”

“Maybe I just cared how _this_ little guy felt,” Bucky responds, and Tony cackles because he thinks Bucky’s making an obscene joke even though Bucky just means Steve in general. Both soldiers give him incredibly old-fashioned looks of disapproval for eavesdropping.

It bothers Bucky that he can’t decipher feelings. His training taught him to read body language and spot dangers, to know when someone is hiding a weapon, to quickly see a person’s physical weaknesses and capitalize on them. But he can’t tell when a smile is genuine or when a person is uncomfortable around him, so he assumes rarely for the first and always for the second. Sam brings him a book on emotional intelligence when he comes to visit. Steve gives the book dark looks, like it’s suggesting something about Bucky, but keeps his mouth shut on the subject and even goes so far as to bookmark some websites about reading emotions through body language.

Steve can hear noise in the communal living room—Tony wants to call it _Avengers Common Room_ as if they go to Hogwarts and Avengers is their house name—one evening and ventures in to see what everyone’s watching. His stomach drops when the familiar strains of _The Star-Spangled Man_ hit his ears. The peals of laughter surrounding it don’t help. He pulls in a deep breath and composes himself before entering the room.

Tony, Clint, and Bucky are sitting in the living room. The huge TV on the wall is broadcasting old footage of Captain America’s USO tour and Tony and Clint are beside themselves. Bucky’s got his head tilted to the side, the way he does sometimes when he’s on the verge of a memory.

“Enjoying yourselves?” Steve asks dryly. Clint’s laughing so hard he can’t speak.

“Those tights are just _fabulous_ , Cap, really,” Tony sputters. Steve rolls his eyes. He can feel how fierce his blush is. They watch some old newsreels after that, Steve growing more and more uncomfortable. He finally calls it a night when a reporter asks a girl with wide eyes what she’s doing to support the war and she responds breathily, “Buying bonds like the Captain asked.” and then reaches out to touch his shoulder as he walks by on the film. Tony almost wets himself at the look of sheer terror on Steve’s face in the video.

Bucky wanders into their apartment minutes later, hands in his pockets, biting the inside of his cheek the way he does when he’s thinking. He sits on the ground in front of the couch, resting against Steve’s legs, and Steve starts running a hand through his hair absent-mindedly as he reads, both of them enjoying companionable silence. Sometimes the Avengers can get incredibly noisy.

“I asked if you were going to keep the outfit.” Bucky’s voice makes Steve jump a little and Bucky twists around to smirk at him.

“Yeah, you did,” Steve agrees, smiling the way he always does when Bucky remembers something other than pain and killing.

“But it’s in the Smithsonian now.” Bucky climbs up onto the couch and Steve puts down his book.

“The original one is, yeah. From the USO tour. Not from the Howling Commandos.” Steve doesn’t mention where that one went; he’s not actually sure, but he doesn’t want to bring up the bullet holes Bucky had put in it. Bucky lies back on the couch and pulls Steve onto his chest, like Steve is still ninety pounds and isn’t crushing Bucky. Steve squirms a little, trying to rest as much of his body weight as possible against the back of the couch. Bucky starts running a hand up and down Steve’s side.

“You didn’t want to keep watching the old newsreels?” Steve asks, his voice getting slow with the comfort of it all, lips smooshed up against Bucky’s neck. Bucky rubs his chin against Steve’s head.

“You hated it,” he says softly. “It embarrassed you that we were watching it.”

Steve hums a little, a noise that’s halfway assent and halfway denial. “I don’t mind so much,” he lies. Humiliation spikes hot in his chest when he thinks about it. He remembers the jeers of the soldiers and the way he’d felt like a trained monkey, carted from stage to stage, hopping to when the Senator told him to.

“Quit lying, dope,” Bucky mumbles into his hair. “They turned you into a circus act and you hated every second. You want everyone to forget that part.”

“Did I ever tell you that?” Steve asks, a little surprised. He remembers confessing the USO tour making him feel useless, right after he pulled Bucky from Zola’s lab, but he’s not sure he ever articulated all the rest. Bucky snorts.

“I can read you like a book, pal.” Bucky jostles Steve so Steve looks up at him. “I could see how much you hated it in the newsreel while you were dancing around, and you were sitting right next to me while we were watching it so I could tell how embarrassed you were that those videos are still around.”

“You could?” Steve is smiling wider than the subject warrants, but he knows how important reading emotion has become to Bucky. Bucky smiles back, but it’s tinged with sadness.

“Don’t go thinking it’s a breakthrough,” he chides gently. “Reading you’s nothing new.”

“That so?” Steve all but purrs. “What’s this say?” He stretches up and kisses Bucky, feeling the curve of Bucky’s smile against his lips.

“Think you’re trying to tell me something.” Bucky pretends to ponder, then shakes his head. “I’m just not getting it. Why don’t you tell me again?”

They’re both giggling like they’re twelve again, passing a bottle of Coke between them and poking each other in the ribs, but it’s way better now because their giggles and tickling are punctuated with lazy kisses.

“As you know,” Steve starts, pausing to kiss Bucky again, “I am very dedicated to your recovery.”

“So dedicated,” Bucky agrees against his lips.

“I will help you understand emotions for as long as it takes,” Steve promises, slipping a hand under the hem of Bucky’s shirt.

“Oh, but Stevie, it might take a long, long time.” Bucky is thoroughly enjoying lacing his words with innuendo and batting his eyelashes and Steve can’t tell if he’s breathless from laughing and kissing or the promise in Bucky’s eyes.

“Well…” Steve’s not nearly as good at double-speak as Bucky. “Like I said, I’m…very dedicated.” Bucky laughs right in Steve’s face and maybe Steve would feel offended if Bucky wasn’t pulling his shirt over his head.

“Let’s become dedicated to something else,” Bucky suggests.

“I mean, if that’s what you need…”

A broken couch serves as their reminder that they both have a bit more strength than the average person, and Steve’s awkwardly thrilled about it. Bucky can’t stop laughing about it or about the way Steve keeps glancing at the couch and blushing.

The next morning, Steve wakes up with Bucky’s chin on his shoulder and arm around his waist, Bucky nosing at his hair, and thinks there’s probably no one in the world as happy as he is.

“Hey,” Bucky says. “There was another feeling I was picking up last night.” His hand starts drawing little circles on Steve’s hip, his lips going to that sensitive spot just beneath Steve’s ear.

“I thought you said it was _another_ feeling?” Steve turns his head to catch sight of Bucky from the corner of his eye. He doesn’t really look riled up—he looks serious, and he’s smiling so fondly at Steve it should be illegal.

“I love you, too,” Bucky whispers in his ear, and Steve feels like there’s a balloon in his stomach, rising up into his chest. He smiles so wide it hurts and Bucky laughs a little. “You knew that already,” he insists.

“Well, yeah,” Steve admits. “But I didn’t know what _way_.”

“Every way,” Bucky promises. Steve turns around so they can kiss each other stupid, then pulls back and rests his forehead against Bucky’s, tangling a hand in his long hair.

“I like you reading my emotions,” he says. “Sometimes I think you can read my mind.”

“Can you read mine right now?” Bucky asks. Steve can hear the joke in his tone.

“Give me a hint.” Steve’s already smiling in anticipation of the punch line. Bucky leans in close so he can whisper it against Steve’s collarbone.

“Go brush your damn teeth before your morning breath knocks me out.”

Steve pins him down and kisses him some more instead.


End file.
